True Confessions of an Unwitting Internet Thief

My internet is not working.

This is not a new situation ~ but I can usually get it to work by going in there and clicking randomly on things, and making semi-educated guesses about what will appease the Internet Gods.

This time, however, I think the gods are fed up with me, and I had to call the cable guy. He won't be able to come until Friday morning.

I think this is what's been happening: Every time I have gotten it to work, it is because I have been using my neighbor's internet. I'm not sure about this, but I think so.

I have a router that says "Netgear." When I click on "View Available Networks," I have always seen "Netgear" and "Linksys." I naturally assume that mine is "Netgear," because that is what it says on my router. So I select that one.

When I do this, it says that I am connected, and that the signal strength is as strong as can be.

But I can't get any webpages.

So I try the one that says "Linksys." The signal strength does not appear to be quite as strong, but it's good enough. And voila! I can get webpages. I don't know what I am doing ~ I only know when it is working and when it is not working. I never have trouble getting connected in other places, like hotels or internet cafes when I travel ~ the only place I've had trouble getting the internet is at home, where I am actually paying for it.

So Linksys is what I have been using at home. Who can blame me? Given the two choices, most people would choose the one that worked.

However, I've always had the nagging sense that I am using my neighbor's internet connection, while paying for one that does not work. I don't know this for a fact, but I am highly suspicious that I am a thief. It wasn't a sudden realization, but something that has been dawning on my gradually, in my random semi-educated clickiness.

Last night, linksys suddenly disappeared. I feel an internet-size void in my life, and I believe Linksys is gone for good. I don't know of any neighbors moving out, but it's the only explanation I can think of. So my free ride is over, and it's time to make use of the internet I've been paying for.

After spending the requisite two hours on the phone talking to a friendly computer who sounded remarkably like a real person, and then on hold, and then talking to a friendly real person who reminded me of a computer, I finally got an appointment for someone to come out and get my internet to work.

Meanwhile, I'm going to have to be very organized. I depend on the internet for a lot of things ~ to communicate with people, to pay bills, to purchase things I need, to do research, and most importantly, for entertainment. So I made a list of all the things I need to get done online today, and I packed up the laptop, and headed over to Panera for an early dinner. Panera is the most laptop-friendly place I know. I'm going to be eating most of my meals here until Friday, I am sure. I have a little mobile device that I can use for quick emails, and limited web browsing, but it can't do the heavy lifting.

It wasn't very long ago that I didn't even have internet. Now, take it away, and I can't function. Isn't progress wonderful?

Panera is nice. Try the soup.